


Can We Spend A Little Time On The Astral Plane?

by Sociopathic_Otter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Benedict Cumberbatch - Freeform, Endgame fix up, Happy Ending?, Hurt Stephen Strange, M/M, Morgan Stark Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Robert Downey Jr - Freeform, Stephen Strange Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Stephen Strange feels guilty, Still not over Tony Stark's death, Supreme Family, clnt barton support group, happy hogan misses tony, in this house we are angry at steve rodgers, made with tears, tom holland - Freeform, we also miss natasha romanoff, we miss Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 08:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19849657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sociopathic_Otter/pseuds/Sociopathic_Otter
Summary: Engame still hurts and I haven't made a fic for it yet so here we go. Anyone who blames Stephen Vincent Strange for Anthony Edward Stark's death can leave because our sorcerer dad feels guilty as hell for what happened so don't even----





	1. Reliving 2023

_Stephen's P.O.V_

There's only one word you can really use in moments like these and it may sound cliche, but that word is numb. It describes so many feelings all in one easy syllable. And until you really know this feeling, you take the simple word for granted when in reality the four letters mean so much more than their description for lack of such feeling.

I think everyone made a promise that day not to feel anger or resentment toward the events of the day or ourselves but I doubt we all kept the promise. I for one know I didn't keep it. Whilst there was the general sense of unease and unfamiliarity, among the heavy atmosphere and deafening silence, inside of me there was boiling anger toward myself. Guilt was the one word I had to describe the day. Yet another simple word that seemed far to heavy for anyone to be carrying aside from myself. I could tell Peter was carrying a load and that made me feel even more anger toward myself. And that was before the event itself had started. That was when I arrived and it was the moment that set the tone for the rest of the day. 

The moments still vividly flash before my eyes any chance they can get, making me relive the moments that make my stomach churn with a cocktail of venomous sensations. The way I passed among the groups of people, giving them empathetic smiles when I had barely gotten over the events myself and I still hadn't to this day. It was like I was a ghost, in an out of body experience. 

I watched myself walk and talk and smile whilst on the inside I was curled up and screaming, crying. A wild mix of emotions that had to remain contained because who was I to feel the emotions his closest people had? Who was I to feel the same way someone else with years of friendship had? Who was I to feel anything but guilt?

Jump to the morning, I stared at myself in the sanctum mirror in utter shame. My hands still had their tremors but they seemed to be enhanced on behalf of the stress which I especially noticed when putting on my tie. I didn't want to go but Wong convinced me after a couple hours of talking. For an ex-neurosurgeon I didn't trust my brain at the moment and that was unusual. I always trusted my choices but then again this was far from an usual choice so there was no wonder I was feeling off.

The journey to the cabin was fast, over within moments or at least that's how it felt to me considering there were spells of slow motion scenes and then parts that would go by so fast I would go dizzy for a moment- like my blood pressure had dropped. This being said, the events that went by so slowly seemed to be the hardest ones. And yet again I had to remain stoic.

I climbed out of the car, my shaking fingers brushing against the safety of the sleek black bodywork for one last time before I was unleashed, out in the open in front of every person I hoped I wouldn't have to face ever again. That may have been selfish of me but that wasn't unusual. I just hoped I wouldn't revert back to my old ways whenever I was face with a large blow.

When I greeted the others, I typically opted for nods or hugs but never a handshake in fear of my hands being noticed. I din't want any attention on me today, if I could help it I would slip away once the ceremony had taken place. yet this seemed even more far away from happening once I saw the young teen sat beneath a tree with his aunt. The least I could do was go over.

This moment was fast, I glanced around as I found myself under the tree like I didn't remember the journey before looking down at the teen by my feet in the arms of his aunt who's eyes were just as bloodshot as his.

"...Peter?" I asked in a soft voice, going down on one knee as I did so to try and show that I was there to help. The brunette slowly came out of the safety of May's arms and turned his head to look up at me, his expression utterly broken and lost since he had lost his guide to this world. He had lost his father figure. And all I could think was 'I did this' as everything engraved into my brain. 

"H-hey Mr Strange...." He sniffed, wiping his eyes as he tried to form some kind of smile and it was clear this wasn't easy. I returned the gesture, managing to make it believable enough after years of experience. "Have um... have you seen the blossoms?" Peter asked, attempting to direct he conversation to anything but the topic that would be staring them in the face before we knew it. I decided to do the same, anything I could do to try and help Peter cope since I was the one who had broken him in the first place.

Once I looked up at the delicate shades of pink and white that were beautifully blended together I felt that sense of dizziness again before the sound of Peter's voice brought me back down to earth. I looked at the teen and smiled to what he was saying, explaining how the blossoms were a sign that Tony was watching over them and funnily enough, it comforted me too.

Blossoms weren't an angry flower so he can't be angry at me... Can he?

I said my goodbyes for now, assured both May and Peter I'd be there for them before I got up and moved on, looking at the cabin which was only a few feet ahead of me. I knew who would be in there and there was a small voice in my ear telling me I shouldn't go in. Before I could conform to the small voice in m ear, my legs were already moving up to the front porch and here's when the time slowed-


	2. A Widow and her Daughter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do I do this to myself?

_Stephen's P.O.V_

_"_ Stephen?" Pepper asked, tearing my attention out of my head and to the scene within the room behind the door I was standing idly by. I blinked a few times and glanced around, wondering how I arrived in the doorway of the living room of the cabin. I blinked a few more times and quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my trembling hand to ensure the last few droplets of bitter tears were exiled from my eyes. 

"Y-yes?" I asked in one sharp inhalation like I had woken up with a start from a deep sleep. I felt like time had slowed once again, making my mind cloudy, like I had just been dunked underwater.

"Come in, please." Pepper said as she got up, giving me a weak smile whilst Happy went over to someone I couldn't see due to the couch blocking my view. I could only guess it was young Morgan Stark. But taking up on Pepper's welcome I walked into the living room, feeling as though the floor was so fragile. It was like I was walking on my tip toes since I didn't want to make a wrong movement. I felt under pressure to even breathe properly but my own personal torment was nothing to do with the kind yet sad expressions before me.

Judging by the smiles they were rehearsed, armour that they could wear outside of their heroic personas. I knew it well and of course we all knew Stark was familiar with the smile armour just as well as his own suits. It was one of his greatest creations, able to deceive anyone no matter how well you knew him.

"S-sorry to intrude I just... I-I..." My words soon fell to soft mumbled stutters as my tongue tied and my throat felt tight. I didn't know why I was there or why I went there because I certainly didn't think I could be there. I didn't even remember opening the cabin door, one minute I was talking to Peter and now I was here. 

More tears sprung to my eyes as I glanced around like I was searching for the words but all I found was the faces of Happy, Rhody, Pepper, Steve, Thor and Morgan who had now climbed up Happy's arm, and that just made it all begin to crash in. "I-I never..." 

Pepper gently shook her head, walking up to me and wiping some tears from my eyes with great care. I looked down at her, unable to express how heavy the weight on my chest was for making her a widow. Anything I wanted to say wouldn't allow itself to be verbalised but she quickly broke the silence. 

"Stephen," She began and I already knew what she was going to say. I just had no idea how she could say it because there was so many things that she didn't know. 

"I don't blame you... None of us do."


End file.
